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Lawyers Jokes
 You're here » Jokes » Lawyers Jokes » One Liners

Category: Clean Lawyers Jokes
       Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean jokes and humor about lawyers, criminals, judges, the law, cops, and more.

 One Liners 

      What do lawyers use for birth control?
       - Their personalities.
      
      What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
       - A tick falls off of you when you die.
      
      Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
       - To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
      
      What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
       - Not enough sand.
      
      What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
       - There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
      
      What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
       - A Doberman.
      
      What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
       - One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
      
      Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
       - They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
      
      Lawyer's creed:
       - A man is innocent until proven broke.
      
      What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
       - Lipstick.
      
      What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
       - Skeet.
      
      What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
       - Chelsea Clinton
      
      It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?)
       - I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
      
      A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
      "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.
      "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
      "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
      
      You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
       - You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
      
      A lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, "I saw the whole thing. I'll take either side."

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