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Rednecks Jokes
 You're here » Jokes » Rednecks Jokes » A Redneck's Love Song

Category: Clean Rednecks Jokes
       Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean jokes and humor about rednecks, mountain living, the simple life, and more.

 A Redneck's Love Song 

Collards is green,
      my dog's name is Blue
      and I'm so lucky
      to have a sweet thang like you.
      Yore hair is like cornsilk
      a-flapping in the breeze.
      Softer than Blue's
      and without all them fleas.
      You move like the bass,
      which excite me in May.
      You ain't got no scales
      but I luv you anyway.
      Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
      jist a-fry'n in the pan.
      Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
      right out of the can.
      You have some'a yore teeth,
      for which I am proud;
      I hold my head high
      when we're in a crowd.
      On special occasions,
      when you shave under yore arms,
      well, I'm in hawg heaven,
      and awed by yore charms.
      Still them fellers at work,
      they all want to know,
      what I did to deserve
      such a purdy, young doe.
      Like a good roll of duct tape
      yo're there fer yore man,
      to patch up life's troubles
      and fix what you can.
      Yo're as cute as a junebug
      a-buzzin' overhead.
      You ain't mean like those far ants
      I found in my bed.
      Cut from the best cloth
      like a plaid flannel shirt,
      you spark up my life
      more than a fresh load of dirt.
      When you hold me real tight
      like a padded gunrack,
      my life is complete;
      Ain't nuttin' I lack.
      Yore complexion, it's perfection,
      like the best vinyl sidin'.
      despite all the years,
      yore age, it keeps hidin'.
      Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
      with a RC cold drank,
      we go together
      like a skunk goes with stank.
      Some men, they buy chocolate
      for Valentine's Day;
      They git it at Wal-Mart,
      it's romantic that way.
      Some men git roses
      on that special day
      from the cooler at Kroger.
      "That's impressive," I say.
      Some men buy fine diamonds
      from a flea market booth.
      "Diamonds are forever,"
      they explain, suave and couth.
      But for this man, honey,
      these won't do.
      Cause yor'e too special,
      you sweet thang you.
      I got you a gift,
      without taste nor odor,
      more useful than diamonds...
      It's a new troll'n motor!!

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