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Husbands Jokes
 You're here » Jokes » Husbands Jokes » Husband Speak

Category: Clean Husbands Jokes
       Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean jokes and humor about husbands, kids, wives, and forgotten anniversaries.

 Husband Speak 

      "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means....
      "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
      
      "It's a guy thing." Really means....
      There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
      
      "Can I help with dinner?" Really means....
      "Why isn't it already on the table?"
      
      "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean....
      Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.
      
      "Good idea." Really means....
      "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."
      
      "Have you lost weight?" Really means....
      "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."
      
      "My wife doesn't understand me." Really means....
      "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
      
      "It would take too long to explain." Really means....
      "I have no idea how it works."
      
      "I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means....
      "The batteries in the remote are dead."
      
      "I got a lot done." Really means....
      "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."
      
      "We're going to be late." Really means....
      "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
      
      "You cook just like my mother used to." Really means....
      "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."
      
      "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means....
      "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
      
      "That's interesting, dear." Really means....
      "Are you still talking?"
      
      "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means....
      "I forgot our anniversary again."
      
      "You expect too much of me." Really means....
      "You want me to stay awake."
      
      "It's a really good movie." Really means....
      "It's got guns, knives, fast cars."
      
      "That's women's work." Really means....
      "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

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