|Category: Clean Men vs. Women Jokes|
Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean jokes and humor about marriage, husbands, wives, kids, men, women, and more.
1) Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2) Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
3) Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
4) Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5) Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6) Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
7) Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
8) Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
9) Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
10) If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
11) Women brush their hair before bed.
12) Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
13) Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, "It's there in the Bible".
14) The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
15) Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
16) Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
17) A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
18) Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
19) Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
20) "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman- language than it does in man- language.
21) Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
22) If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"
23) Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
24) It's okay for women to kiss each other and not be gay.
25) Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
26) The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party.