CLEAN JOKES
MAIN MENU
Home - Categories
Tell A Friend
Suggest A Joke
Link To Us
Bible Resources
• Bible Study Aids
• Bible Devotionals
• Audio Sermons
Community
• ChristiansUnite Blogs
• Christian Forums
• Facebook Apps
Web Search
• Christian Family Sites
• Top Christian Sites
• Christian RSS Feeds
Family Life
• Christian Finance
• ChristiansUnite KIDS
Shop
• Christian Magazines
• Christian Book Store
Read
• Christian News
• Christian Columns
• Christian Song Lyrics
• Christian Mailing Lists
Connect
• Christian Singles
• Christian Classifieds
Graphics
• Free Christian Clipart
• Christian Wallpaper
Fun Stuff
• Clean Christian Jokes
• Bible Trivia Quiz
• Online Video Games
• Bible Crosswords
Webmasters
• Christian Guestbooks
• Banner Exchange
• Dynamic Content
View Joke!
Funny One-Liners Jokes
 You're here » Jokes » Funny One-Liners Jokes » Police One-Liners

Category: Clean Funny One-Liners Jokes
       Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean one-liner jokes and words of wit and wisdom.

 Police One-Liners 

      "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
      
      "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
      
      "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
      
      "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
      
      "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
      
      "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
      
      "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
      
      "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
      
      "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
      
      "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
      
      "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
      
      "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
      
      "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
      
      "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

Previous Funny One-Liners Joke | Funny One-Liners Index | Next Funny One-Liners Joke

Choose another category

Like This Page?


Email this joke to a friend

Search the Jokes

Enter word or phrase







More From ChristiansUnite...    About Us | Privacy Policy | | ChristiansUnite.com Site Map | Statement of Beliefs



Copyright © 1999-2013 ChristiansUnite.com. All rights reserved.
Please send your questions, comments, or bug reports to the